I'm Speechless

I'm Speechless
Though I laugh on outside
I cry in inside
Sometimes there are so many around me 
But today , no one ! 
Not to listen to me but
Even to see this awkward moment
Only my pen and this paper know it
Feel so lonely
Can cry till I meet the death
But ,
You're luckier than I my poor tear drops!
Because I'm not going to defeat ,
Not going to defect with you either
Will try to do defence 
LIFE , is this the way you treat me ?
If so no matter I warmly welcome it 
Oh no! I try to do as it is 
I'm not going to cry out anymore
I know that this world wags 
So I try to endure all my sufferings 
By putting my best
strength more than I ever did !!